2016. I don't even know where to begin in my reflection of the past year. All I can say is, I'm happy to leave it behind. In my personal life, there were only a handful of things I want to hold on to. The rest, I'm happy to leave, set into flames, and watch dissipate into the sky.
Though I'm happy to move on and into a new year, I've learned in my 33 years of life, that when the clock strikes midnight, that doesn't mean a clean slate. You don't really get to start over from scratch as so many people believe. What I have learned from years past is each year is an opportunity to build on the previous one.
I had a miscarriage in 2016. I had a miscarriage and it didn't break me. In fact, from pain and loss, came the most profound growth.
I was so moved by the lack of visibility of a far too common circumstance among women, that I began to write. As I started to share my story publicly, I decided to create a blog. I learned and am still learning new skill sets - social media marketing, photography, graphic design. Wanting to do more and to expand on these new skills, I'm in the process of creating merchandise and starting my own business. All this growth would not have happened had it not been for a tragic catalyst.
Each new year, I've come to celebrate the opportunity to transform in to a better version of myself, rather than forgetting everything that I was the year before. I've learned that prior to throwing away the moments and memories in to the new year fire, you have to acknowledge that they happened. They existed.
Without hardship and struggle, there would be no growth or achievement. Without heartache and pain, there would be no reason to have hope and find comfort in love
With 2017 among us, I can't help but let out a deep breath. I survived. I survived 2016, a year of love and loss. A year of depression and despair, having progressed to hope and new opportunities. I could have chosen to continue in to this year angry and lackluster, but I didn't. Instead, I allowed myself to mourn and move on. Though you will never get over such a tragedy, you will find a way to live with it. And because of that, I've grown to be more resilient. I've found strength.
This new year, I'd like to think I'm going into it just a little bit stronger and wiser. My heart will be lighter, no doubt, due to my 2016 fire burning brighter than ever before.